A SUNDAY KNOWN AS FATHER'S DAY

Well when i woke up this Sunday ---15Th June ,2008 at arnd 10 o' clock ,the first thing that rejuvenated me was a cloud infested sky .....i proceeded to brush my teeth and and the song "country roads -take me home " sang up to my ears ...wow..it was my brother playing pacman on his lappy and the song was playing alongside ...the House was ringing with it and at intervals the kitchen utensils kept ringing--courtesy my dear mom .....
Honestly i was in a pleasantly pensive mood on a Sunday morning after a very looong time ....generally they vanish in deliberately trying to rejuvenate my senses and in hustle and bustle of the petty jobs hanging 4rm tiny yellow stick on slips .
But this Sunday seemed special ...i felt so very happy to have my family together adding to the pleasant song of domestic harmony ...and the weather was complimenting every moment of the rich morning ...however happiness generally has a strain of pathos within ...something was missing ...something among the success and the prosperity of these siblings and their mother ...a father was missing on a FATHER'S DAY....and i didn't even know that this Sunday was a FATHER"S DAY...
So my thoughts drifted to the Father whom i never understood and probably never actually tried to understand ..i was so very alienated from him that i never actually missed him ..he was a silent and consistently smoking omnipresence ...but i really began thinking abt him yesterday and i dint know it was a FATHER'S DAY.
it was so very spontaneous .
i just imagined him snoozing his way in an armchair at the corner of the sitting room with a half burnt cigarette clutched limply between his ring infested fingers...suddenly i realized that the corner wher he used to sit no one sits there..who knows he's probably still there even though the air smells remarkable clean and smoke free...on orders by a mundane instinct i went up to that chair just to check if it was occupied ..mundane but true i just did that ...i went upto it and sat there...a little cut off from the rest of the room ,the activity .the talk ,the song ,the humdrum ....the everything ........
He must have felt the same way ....watchin his son and daughter grow up into stoidi..his wife humming a song and reading a newspaper or something ....and then denying the failing heart and feeling the cigarette turning to ashes between his fingers .....50 yrs of loving and losing ,creating and seeing it get washed away ..trying to match the prose with the poetry of his heart ...all compiled into that snory smoky moment ...
The wonder was it gave me the courage to face his memory and the courage to accept the fact that actually we had a pathetic relationship ....but smhw i understood a bit of him probably still smoking arnd me .....and then the radio went screaming ---"TOH AAJ FATHER"S DAY KE MAUKE PAR.................."----i returned to my family ..

p.s--miss the mike

the universal condition

"i kiss the fetters
and tell them that
you are bound to me
like me to thee
and for thy sake
i wont break free "