FREEDOM

A SUNDAY KNOWN AS FATHER'S DAY

Well when i woke up this Sunday ---15Th June ,2008 at arnd 10 o' clock ,the first thing that rejuvenated me was a cloud infested sky .....i proceeded to brush my teeth and and the song "country roads -take me home " sang up to my ears ...wow..it was my brother playing pacman on his lappy and the song was playing alongside ...the House was ringing with it and at intervals the kitchen utensils kept ringing--courtesy my dear mom .....
Honestly i was in a pleasantly pensive mood on a Sunday morning after a very looong time ....generally they vanish in deliberately trying to rejuvenate my senses and in hustle and bustle of the petty jobs hanging 4rm tiny yellow stick on slips .
But this Sunday seemed special ...i felt so very happy to have my family together adding to the pleasant song of domestic harmony ...and the weather was complimenting every moment of the rich morning ...however happiness generally has a strain of pathos within ...something was missing ...something among the success and the prosperity of these siblings and their mother ...a father was missing on a FATHER'S DAY....and i didn't even know that this Sunday was a FATHER"S DAY...
So my thoughts drifted to the Father whom i never understood and probably never actually tried to understand ..i was so very alienated from him that i never actually missed him ..he was a silent and consistently smoking omnipresence ...but i really began thinking abt him yesterday and i dint know it was a FATHER'S DAY.
it was so very spontaneous .
i just imagined him snoozing his way in an armchair at the corner of the sitting room with a half burnt cigarette clutched limply between his ring infested fingers...suddenly i realized that the corner wher he used to sit no one sits there..who knows he's probably still there even though the air smells remarkable clean and smoke free...on orders by a mundane instinct i went up to that chair just to check if it was occupied ..mundane but true i just did that ...i went upto it and sat there...a little cut off from the rest of the room ,the activity .the talk ,the song ,the humdrum ....the everything ........
He must have felt the same way ....watchin his son and daughter grow up into stoidi..his wife humming a song and reading a newspaper or something ....and then denying the failing heart and feeling the cigarette turning to ashes between his fingers .....50 yrs of loving and losing ,creating and seeing it get washed away ..trying to match the prose with the poetry of his heart ...all compiled into that snory smoky moment ...
The wonder was it gave me the courage to face his memory and the courage to accept the fact that actually we had a pathetic relationship ....but smhw i understood a bit of him probably still smoking arnd me .....and then the radio went screaming ---"TOH AAJ FATHER"S DAY KE MAUKE PAR.................."----i returned to my family ..

p.s--miss the mike

the universal condition

"i kiss the fetters
and tell them that
you are bound to me
like me to thee
and for thy sake
i wont break free "

A HEART FELT CAPITALIST PLEA.
WELL U GUYS ARE REALLY GREAT. ALL OF YOU WHO FIND THE TIME TO VISIT MY BLOG .I AM REALLY THANKFUL ....BUT U KNOW IN THIS WORLD THE THANKS DOESN'T STAND THE TEST OF TIME AND TIME IS MONEY ....SO WELL THE POINT IS THAT WHEN U ARE GOGGLING AT MY STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS DAPPLED IN PINK ..JUST SCROLL DOWN TO THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE AND CLICK ON THE ADDS...PLEASE DO SO ....IT WILL TAKE NOT MORE THAN 15 SECONDS ...15 SECONDS PEOPLE AND JUST A CLICK ON EACH OF THE INSUFFERABLE SQUARE BOXES .....I WILL BE GRATEFUL TO THE EXTENT THAT IT WILL STAND THE TEST OF TIME ...

AND HAVE A GOOD TIME WHILE GOGGLING...
THANKS ANYWAY ,
LONE STAR.

CONCRETE SALUTATIONS

I

I walked slowly down the road,
Mundane thoughts all aboard .
It felt great ,it felt miserable.
To be no one with no one .

It's not that there is no one ,
To think and wish to behold;
You were always there on my mind ;
Worthless memory of a passion old.

Yes,you were always there ,
No matter how hard i tried.
Life was tough,life was easy ;
You were there from the age of infancy.

The terrace was the haunting place ,
On your little house i used to fix my gaze.
Now a huge sky scraper stares at me
Concrete salutation of a desire untold.

The salutations increase day by day ,
Its been decades now ;
And you are untraced lost
In life's unfathomable maze.

Life is funny ,life is strange,
A different place with desires unchanged ,
I met you again,
I met you alone.....

In the very street ,
A no one with no one .

II

A surrogate fulfillment
Of what one hankers for,
A painful resurrection
Of an ageless ,dampened red core.

Both were tactless idiots,
Marooned by life's ambitious struggles.
But we were still young enough
To hold the memories of yore .

Far from the haunting terrace ,
Far from your little house.
We made our niche ,
Our haven on the 13th floor.

The 13th is a funny number,
We giggled and goggled at .
Like madmen in stupor
We cherished in autumn's lap.

Time runs out,dreams burn down.
Long drawn struggles loose their charm;
You shrivelled up in unknown agony;
The concrete 13th had struck its jaws.

Love was there,I am sure it was ,
We searched our entities in each other
And unfortunately found them out ,
Steel and granite reminders constantly shout.

You said you did not get a thing ,
I was pictured black in the entire scene.
I remember your white face in that dark;
The phone beeped to tell I had made the mark.

I had to go but not leave.
We need to fill up our hollow deeds.
You were happy ,said were glad,
That I had all I wanted to have.

The journey from no one to someone was done,
The lights below the 13th were dull and dumb.
The road ahead was short yet steep ,
The street was deserted curling in sleep.

You did not get me ,
You never had.
We were coerced into each other;
By the nothingness of our hearts.

That moment I had everything I wanted,
You were in my terrible power.
Understand my heart,you fool!!
Take me ,take it away and all.

You couldn't take it,
You couldn't hold.
You understood the kisses ,the words
But not the soul.

But what to understand ,
The soul was lost.
The Everything had to be relinquished ,
To get it back.

I had to get it back,get it back;
And you were the burdensome sack.
Guiltless,innocent you looked at me ,
It was time to forgive,forget and leave.

The concrete 13th stared at me ,
As i opened the door to leave .
Another salutation added to the list;
Of our horrible love,wonderful misery.

Each of us were left again,
A no one with no one .

III

The story is not as simple as it seems;
The reasons were not actually very deep.
The concrete salutations eternally scream,
The lost can always be redeemed.

We were wilfully jeopardised,
In our mesh of relentless dismay.
That we struggle in sorrow,
And suffer on a joyful day.

Yet the sky scrapers rise ,
Here there everywhere.
I don't see what is that they seek ,
Its going and rising beyond the 13th .

Back I went in time and space,
Back to where I started the race.
With mundane thoughts aboard,
To be a no one with no one .

The concrete mesh is deep inside,
On the terrace and in my gaze.
The rising sky scraper is still there with the stare;
A concrete salutation of a failing desire so rare .

You ,me ,we all are walking amidst the concrete,
With perpepetual desires that constantly weep ,
Walking,weeping this gnaws us all
That we are no one with no one .

tryst with ingmar bergman

well i dunno when the hell did i start "liking" bergman's movies ..the point is that by the time i was into his movies i spot this article on paper claiming that "at 89,bergman is no more."well so much for a man who made movies darker ,deeper and more mystifying than any director i am aware of ..well on a lighter note the first movie of this swedish chap i saw was "the seventh seal "at my college auditorium surrounded by a couple of ppl so messed up with their lives that we actually didn't end up caring what happened in the already screwed up life of a templar knight.
But i was fortunate enough to catch the movie again to appreciate the magnificence of the concept and its profound representation ..If anyone can actually bring out death,destruction and the horrendous trapped ,existentialist mode of the human race -bergman is someone to watch out for .Moreover generally all movies on crusades end up glorifying the cause of the fighting soldiers and knights ..but this movie brings out the futility of it all ,something that the human race felt after considerably destroying itself in the world wars.
so every person out there who cherishes movies at its best -DO HAVE A DOSE OF BERGMAN...a helluva creative man who "at 89,is no more" yet his legacy of "movies with a message" lives on .

p.s:go for "the seventh seal","crisis" and "secrets of women"...and moreover if u r suffering from depression and suicidal impulses only go for the last one ...dont endanger ur lives with the former movies .{:)}